The Sting of HUMAN-ASSNESS.

man_doing_crossword

I must admit that I’ve seen this a few times – various places all over…

But the other day Waiting to unlock for Work,

I saw something that once more Pulled the Dread through my Heart.

 

I can suspect that in All aspects of our Society there are Idiots and Morons,

People who behave as they do,

Believing that They’ve got some Profound Right to treat other’s Horrible!

 

No, nothing happened to me in this instance,

But while I looked at this happening and Can recall at Other instances where I’d seen something Similar to this,
I once again Realized something here are well.

 

MOST People’s Fear of the Unknown, dictate a Great Deal of their Actions!

 

So here it is, and I can tell you that it’s None Specific to Race either.

Yet, as I sat in my Car – waiting for time to Pass me by AND the other Part of the Day to start,

I saw an Older Black man, standing against the Curb, waiting to see if the Road is Clear and safe enough to cross it.

 

Then I saw a Black Taxi Driver coming past him,

Not in the least worried, passing the Older man too Close,

BUT – while he came up to the man;

Continuously blowing the Taxi’s horn while he came at the man and well past him.

 

Having an Infinite LOVE for the Fringe Series,

IN this Series Doctor Walter Bishop was placed in a Psychiatric Hospital for the Character’s Background…

BUT seeing more than One film where a Character is in some kind of Trouble in this Regard,

You can well Imagine yourself just How Horrible such a Life can be!

 

I cannot say that the Old man who crossed the Road as fast as he Humanly could,

Was or Should be in an Institute – but he Did look like he was Living on the Streets,

As well as the fact that I could see there was something amiss with the Poor man physical condition – making Crossing the road so Much More Dangerous to him!

 

ON ONE can ever just say that Me, You, They might be Responsible for This kind of Disease – they could have taken Something OR their Bodies just react in a Specific way somewhere down the Line and Life just kick you in the Groin!

 

Yet,

Excluding what happened to this man,

Leaving him in the Position he’s in at the Moment;

What caught My eye and mind, thoughts –

The Actual Action I’ve seen taken against People like him…

 

I can say that I’ve seen White Men in general who had Behaved like this as well,

ESPECIALLY when they’d have something to drink;

Allowing their Inhibitions to leave them and DO what they actually Want to do,

In this case – Especially when they’re in a Group… Doing the Same thing as well,

Harassing someone who should receive our help!

 

Hence the Idea that What we Don’t understand,

Scares the Living Daylights out of us!

 

I can Imagine myself that Most General People would be Fearful,

Having worked at the Correctional Services with one Man who didn’t have the Ability at controlling his Own Outbursts, when he got Really Upset or Drunk –

In my Mind’s Eye, I can Clearly see how he’d behaved that Early Evening when the Member in Charge of the Shift confronted him,

Why he arrived Drunk at work…

 

In this case, the Alcohol numbed his reaction to those around him.

Yet, there was something off about this man and

Here’s the Rub – he would Physically Assault anyone who, In his Mind, was a Threat to him!

YET, in all his actions he was already Perceived as a Threat to everyone around him,

When he acted as he did.

 

THUS, there are instances where things goes Really bonkers and I can imagine myself as well – if you’re not Trained at dealing with Special Needs People,

It would Upset and Scare Most People around unstable people.

 

While I was Watching this Older man Crossing the Street,

I also could see that he wasn’t Angry in the least – He might not have Registered how the Other man had behaved toward him OR

It so Regularly happens, it’s like Water of a Duck’s Back and he just goes on.

 

I saw that with his Physical Impairment, he clothes also spoke of a Very Hard and Difficult life he’d been living so far…

With his Age and Possibly NOT getting the Correct or Necessary Medical Assistance,

Over time something which had broken, maybe healed incorrectly;

It looked Almost Impossible that he would Receive the Correct help along the way.

 

Mentioning all of this,

I suspect that the Man for the most part of his Day and Possibly Life,

Is content at Living a Life where a Little Help here and there would be Nice –

BUT mostly, not being Harassed as Often as it might happen,

Would be Infinitely Better!

 

Remembering the One lady from when I was in Primary School,

Everyone called her “Mal Martha”

And this I can Promise you – at the Age we were then,

13 and less, when ANY woman screams at you on your way Home from School

Looking as terrible as she did;

You crossed the Road,

Especially when Even the Adults didn’t take any Action against her Rantings…

 

UNFORTUNATE for this;

There’s So much we can Most of the time do in Helping Someone who Might not want the Help these Days,

BUT,

What is a Definite Possibility,

How we Behave towards those How might Not be able to Help themselves,

That we can Do for sure!

 

Jumping out and Fighting with that Driver or even Those Drunk men might not be a Good idea in the least,

BUT – showing that Person some kind of Kindness Might BLOW their Mind or just Show them that the World at Large don’t want them Gone,

Even if there are some Asses out there,

We can choose to do something more,

Helping where we can…

 

Seeing that No One ever can Know when Something as Terrible MIGHT happen to anyone of us?!

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FOUR Points For Change.

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Some time ago I joined one of my Sisters,

Attending a Church Sermon.

What I took away from there, is what I’d like to share here.

 

The invited Speaker that night, having spent some time in the Vicinity;

Dr. Gustav du Toit

 

The Ironic fact is, most of what he told the Congregation were things (Points) which I’d been working either toward or using as stepping stones in reaching further than where I’m at this very moment.

 

Thus, this is my little part in helping or supporting or sharing this Insight which I’ve been living; without having put it into Words – STRANGE at that,

Seeing that I’m a writer after all…

 

To make a Change in Your life, if and when you’d like to do so;

YOU need to be the Person working at it, doing what you can in making this Happen.

There’s no easy fix to this and like Most of the worthwhile things in Life – require hard work!

 

Within this, there are Four points or steps you can use as Guidelines to make Your plans or Change, work out better for you.

I may not remember them in the Correct sequence, but you need to do more than just Remember them – You need to use these Ideas, if they Can work for you…

 

Try Something New in Your Life:

This one would walk Hand-in-Hand with fear. As doing something new in your life also constitute taking that Risk of doing something other than what you’re used to OR getting out of your Comfort Zone and doing the hard work at doing something New – as well as dealing with the Positive and Negative Consequences.

Positive consequences – very much so, If and when you do Reach that milestone or whichever plan comes to term; you Could lose yourself and forget where you’d come from.

Anyone can fall prey to such a situation.

But NOT trying is Much Worse!

 

Never be Fearful at taking a Chance:

No matter what you’d like to do, if You don’t put on the Pants and dress of that Success, No matter what you’re aiming at;

Just who would do that for you?

I cannot Ever promise you that if you do take the Chance, doing something New – that it would work out and You’d have Everything You’d wished for.

That, no one can say. Not even sure if that’s where Your path would lead. But, at least you’re doing something More with your life than just the Normal Mundane Existence…

 

 

Never be Fearful of making Mistakes:

Every single Person around you, in your life and who you’d Ever met so far, have all made Mistakes. Got fired, lost a Client or so many other things had happened.

The Question isn’t IF you’d make them, but what would you Learn from your Own Mistakes?

Even MORE so, if you know of Someone who had Reached where they’d Aimed to go to,

What can you Learn from them in Reaching Your new path or dream, laid out for you?

Only when you get up, get Going would you Know and See where this Path of yours would lead to. Then as well, You’d Never Ever know who it is out there, who would One day be Looking at Your Journey and learn from how you did it…

It’s all Relative.

 

Never Back-Down under Pressure:

This one is also part of the Fearful situation. AND yes, I cannot even Imagine what the next person Might be going through.

Nor would they know what You’d experience and what Trials You’d be going through.

But, if you Do give-up under that Pressure and allow Your fears to dictate what You’d be willing to do, Giving-Up will never allow you to reach your Full Potential.

Pressure, Suffering, Hard Work, being Tested – that’s all the things which happen to Prepare you for what will come After this Test, you may be enduring, going through…

We’re Always confronted with something we can Deal with AND if it does get the Better of you, Learning to Ask for help from those you Can lean on – that’s a Test in humility in itself.

 

There they are,

The ONLY thing that can help with all of this,

If you are Willing and Ready to help yourself.

Looking to Others for Help can be a Possibility –

The ONLY issue here, if they do Help you and You’re Unwilling to put the Effort in for Your own Life…

 

Change is Scary,

BUT for me, Not taking that Chance If and When it does arise for you,

THAT the Worse kind of Fear a Person can live with.

 

Use Your life and talents to do something more,

NOT saying You’d Change the World,

But show the Others, Rest of the People around you –

LIVING is far More Important that just Surviving…

staying there, because of Your Indifference to your own life…

 

It’s a struggle for each and Every one of us.

Never Ever give up on what is Worth to You!

Stuck on SURVIVE…

drought

 

How many times did You hear about someone, Possibly, not that Extraordinary;

But you did Hear about that Person who Could easily have been You…

That Person making the Change in their lives and Making their Dreams come true.

 

YES,

Yet another reminder of getting Up and Doing it for yourself,

BUT not entirely the same as some of the others either.

 

No matter who you are,

No matter what you’re reaching or aiming for,

All of US are in the Very Same boat at One Point or another…

 

All of us need someone to HELP us getting past the Proverbial DOOR.

You need that Helping Hand to Help you when You need that Extra support,

Getting where the Right people can See what You can do.

 

The IRONY here is this,

With our Lives being so Fast and Having become so

PROFIT driven; there’s Almost no way that Most people,

Could I say as much – Those who Deserve it,

Have or Accumulate the FUNDS in getting their Dream off the ground!

 

Your Dream could ONLY be to Own your Home,

Have no Debt and Possibly drive a New Car once in your Lifetime.

You don’t have to Save the World OR even Concur it with Ideas and such.

 

I’m speaking here in Utter Basic Terms,

When last did you have to Save-Up to do something,

PLAN well ahead of time, Making sure that things would work out?

 

It really doesn’t matter what You’re looking at,

If and When you don’t have the Funds available,

That’s a very clear Indication of just how much Life had brought us back to Reality,

We’re not Living… as the song states;

We’re stuck on Survive…

 

It’s not to say that You, Me or Possibly THEY would be Bleed Dry… like that

Good Samaritan…

It’s only to say that with the Current trend of the World,

Money is the Resource why Life goes Around the World these days.

 

No matter what you do,

If you ask help from someone,

If that help is in any which way Specialized,

That person can ask you that Sum of Monies to do Whatever you need be done,

No matter how much we Hate this idea – but that’s Life at the Moment for Us…

 

It doesn’t matter How well you Prepare for this,

The day You need to put down the Money,

Where Your mouth is or doing whatever comes to Mind,

That’s the Moment to see if you’d go Further or if You’d shoot Yourself in the

Foot – not having Planned well enough ahead.

 

There Could be a Person willing to Help you in Whichever way,

There could be a Wealthy Relative able to Foot the Bill,

Which You’re looking at…

BUT

What if there’s Neither?

 

If you’ve got Something to Dream off,

Being Stuck on SURVIVE,

That’s not going to change where You want to go.

 

I’m not Say it’ll really Help,

But I’m talking from Experience,

When I tell you,

You might not have the Money in doing what You’d like to Reach for,

BUT there’s ONE thing more Important to wrap Yourself around;

If you’re NOT in the correct Mind-Set,

How could you Work toward the Monies that You’ll need?

 

If you cannot See Yourself moving out of Survival Mode,

ESPECIALLY now, when things are Very Hard,

What will happen the Day when you do Make it,

Whatever that may be,

BUT once more for whatever Reason You’re once more Stuck

In Survival Mode and THUS,

You cannot see your way Clear of getting that Next Better position…

 

As I said,

For you, it Might not sound like good advice,

BUT,

Do yourself a Favor – Get your Mind-Set clear and on Track,

Clearly Seeing where You’d like to be,

How the Easiest you can get out of Survival Mode

AND

Then, just then you might See that Chance You might have been

TOO Afraid of taking!

 

Your Mind is a Very Powerful thing,

DO not Waste Yours!

The FEARFUL Success…

large

 

I suspect that I’ve written Quite a bit about Our

Hopes

Dreams

Aspirations

And for Us who have them,

Needing to Work as Hard as we can in reaching them.

 

At times I suspect that I’ve even Sounded like a Pompous A…..

while I sit here before the Screen,

Jotting down all the Ideas and Thoughts running around in my Head.

 

Well here’s another Aspect on those Thoughts,

I cannot remember within all the Posts I’d accumulated over the Years,

YES – Years, whether if I’ve written something about this before.

 

The fact is, It is really Important to know and Understand this idea,

Seeing that I’ve come Across this far TOO many times in the past,

Having in some way Experienced it Myself as well.

 

The First time I heard anything like this,

If I can remember this Correctly,

Was on the Oprah Show when Dr. Phil spoke to someone about it.

 

You see,

It’s not Enough to have this Hope, Dream or Aspiration for us to Reach it;

You need to KNOW that You’ve been given a Desire which is only Yours to Succeed.

 

LIKE so many Ideas I’ve had over the years,

Very FEW I missed,

Because when I do have something that Sound Really Cool in my Mind,

I will stand up in the Middle of the Night or Wherever I am,

And I will put it down on Paper.

 

That Should be Our Passion with which We, YOU, I should be Chasing Our Dreams and Successes!

 

Now then,

Getting back to the Human side of things,

Looking at the Various People around you, who told you over the Years

That you CANNOT do what You’re dreaming of!

 

YES,

Not even talking about your own Self-Doubt,

But just thosePeople that you have met,

BLOWING them out of the Water with what You’re attempting!

 

A little reminder in this regard;

One of the girls from Primary School bumped into me

Many-A-Year-Ago

And we spoke a little.

 

I Thought that she would be Open-Minded,

OR that’s what I suspected or what I might have Remembered from School…

YOU cannot Imagine how fast she made herself Scares when I told her that I was Almost finished with my Way-Back-Then First Book…

 

Now comes the Question many might ask,

What Gives me the Right to believe that My Ideas are worth any kind of Mention to the World at large?

 

So that brings me back to the Idea I got from the Oprah show with Phil,

Asking the Artist or Whomever it was that day,

WHO gives Us the Right NOT to do whatever We have to,

To Reach that Star – Aiming for whatever or whoever we should be,

Allowing Ourselves not to take the World in a negative way,

Doing what may be Burning in Our SOULS Year on Year!

 

I’ve been working on My Screenplay course for the past few Months,

Struggling and Working to not ONLY get the Hang of it,

But Aiming to Rewrite the Screenplay a 6th Time!

 

This I mention because I Just began yet again,

Noting the Story Line for the 6th Book of the World of Imagination Series

AND, seeing just how Interesting my Ideas and Thoughts were from Day to Day,

Made me Realize that when You IGNORE Your Passion,

You could Eventually Lose it altogether!

 

AND that is the Danger, Amongst OTHERS,

In Not Finishing whatever it is that You Know that You were Blessed with.

NOT ONLY this, but Showing and Helping and just Getting there is Also Part of Our mission to let the rest KNOW it’s possible!

 

To say the least,

Over the past few Months, I felt my Fingers talking to me,

Very Subtly… ALMOST as if to say,

You NEED to Tap or Pound that Keyboard,

KNOWING that it is my Finger exercises, my creation release

Each and Every Day!

 

If you’ve got that Unshakable Blessing in Reaching something,

DO NOT FEAR,

For Fear of Change can Stop us from Doing something

 

 

AND Yet,

How Do you even Know if someone out there isn’t in need of Following

The Brave,

The Free,

The Strong,

The Passionate,

The DREAMERS (P.S.: Tomorrowland… A Very Cool Movie!),

Even if You Never reach there, Trying is as Important as it is in Getting there!

 

The Journey to Save and Free Your Soul is the Most Important Journey I believe,

For ONLY then to do Know what Your are made off.

 

My Fear,

Letting Life slip by,

Not at least Trying – blowing up maybe sometimes,

And I’m NOT sitting on the Sidelines!

 

PLUS,

Typing enough makes my Fingers Smile as well,

IRONIC this kind of Therapy!

End of an Era.

End Of An ERA            There’s SO many things in our Lives which comes to and End.

There’s some many Different directions we go in and so Much we can actually Try,

It’s REALLY shocking as to the Fact how many People keep Holding on to that which,

Will Not anymore Be…

I must say that if you Invest,

Time,

Money,

Your Life

OR in cases,

Your Heart…

That could be why Such change May not be TOO brilliant!

The Saying doesn’t Go for No Reason…

Where

One

Door

Closes…

A Window opens and gives you Other Opportunities.

Fear will Always be the ISSUE which Everyone of us will have to Deal with.

The Fear of Getting Hurt in another Relationship.

The Fear of NOT knowing if this is better than Where you’d been before.

The Fear of what OTHERS might say, Even if they MAY do worse than You! ! !

BUT most of all;

The FEAR because THIS time it Truly MIGHT work if you do Work at it…

No Relationship is EVER easy.

No other Person is Ever easy to get to know.

Even if you’ve got SO MUCH in common,

Putting TWO different People together and NEITHER is willing to Put in the Effort;

Then you’re Wasting Your time once again!

ALMOST no one Was Created to be Alone.

There’s SO Many times where we Cannot Change our Situation,

BUT,

Even here this Idea is WRONG,

YOU can change whatever there is You’d Need be Changing;

As Long As You’re Just Ready For That Change!

This Idea with the Fear of Getting Your Heart and Soul Broken again,

That could be the Reason why a

GREAT many of People out there,

Never will
REALLY be Ready for Life, Luck, Destiny OR Whichever it Might be;

Brings that Opportunity into Your Life!

That Opportunity can be ANYTHING,

A Relationship,

A New Job,

A Dream You’ve Have Forever,

Meeting the Hero of Your Dreams…

The Actual situation doesn’t Matter,

BUT,

Being Ready to take that Opportunity with Both hands

and

KNOWING that thing Will and Can get better in time.

Life isn’t just Full of the Heartaches,

BUT those are the ONES

We most of the times Change our Lives…

Our Son…

CHRISTMAS ISN’T always the best of holiday seasons for everybody. This was one of the problems facing Steven. He drove home for a few days over the holiday. There wasn’t any other family he could visit with, so he was stuck with them.

Why haven’t you gotten together with a young nice woman by now?’ He heard his annoying mother ask, many times before, hearing it whenever he walked through the door—this without even a hello first…

Just like the other things she would say. His Jeep was nice, though not new, but he enjoyed the ride—‘You know that you should buy yourself one of those nice black ones. Martha told me that her son bought one and only a month later, he got married!

As he drove up to the turnpike, he knew that there was no way he could choose not to go through with it now. He just had to go home…

You don’t call so much anymore dear. Why is that?’ she would ask the third question, he remembered from last visit.

Because…I moved a thousand miles away from you, so I can get some peace and quiet! Everyone’s so damn scared of telling you, what you should have heard a long time ago!’ He thought of telling her once, but like the rest of them, he too, backed down from telling her.

As a matter of fact, the ‘pot’ on the one who would tell her straight, was almost five thousand dollars this Christmas. Everyone knew that none of them would ever tell her, without her crumbling reaction.

The last two hundred miles to go, lay before him. There was only one place he always frequented on his way home. Here, he would be swallowed up by the past, hiding there for as long as he could, holding onto his sanity—a small motel which served the best steak he’d  ever tried. Then just as the sun would rise, he would literally sit on the roof or the platform in the biggest tree closest to his room, looking at the mist and the sun. He could sit and see just how long it took for the sun to breakthrough…a true sight to behold. A certain kind of peace existed there that he could enjoy. The fact he owned the place, for the last five years was also a big factor in feeling good about the place.

Fortunately, this was something none of his family would ever know about.

Two days of hiding out there and he took off again.

The last part of this visit would probably  drive him crazy. Crazy Uncle Pete would also be there—‘John, why don’t you ever come visit me, your own father?’ Old Pete would always give him such trouble throughout the visit, mistaking him for Pete’s dead son.

Luckily for him, they decided not to let Uncle Pete stay over more than one day this time. “At least that’s  what they said last year. I just hope that they’d keep to their plan.” he said softly and kept a close eye on the road; “I have a funny feeling that this year…is going to be a hilarious one.” Steven smiled broadly, driving along the mountainous road.

There was nothing like being back in the country. He could see the clear blue sky and remember all the things they’d gotten up to as children. “We were in such trouble…most of the time.” Flashing his last smile, before the rest of the welcoming committee got ahold of him.

I really don’t see why the doctors cannot help you with your infertility or whatever it is. These days, they can do anything! Why can’t they get your sperm up to speed, keeping one of those women happy?’ They all would start to talk about the most ‘interesting’ subjects of the entire holiday out in the open, of all places.

“Bless all my children and then also in particular poor Steven,” Mom would pray for him, while everyone else would pray for her to stop. “We really hope that you will give him the opportunity to meet a woman who would be good to him, seeing that he’s impotent because of the motorcycle accident; at eight years old. He’s a good man and would love not to be alone for the rest of his life…amen.”

Right about then, Steven would reach his limit. He would make every kind of plan to get himself out of the local picnic. The plan that would work? The Annual Town Festival. Mother would always look there, seeing if she could hook me up with a woman. No matter if I could have children or not! Steven fought back tears of anger. “This holiday, is going to be one for the books!”

 

~****~

 

AT MIDDAY, Steven drove through the open gates, there were a few horses running and he saw a few new ones he didn’t recognize. The sun was baking down on the valley and with the rain of the weekend, the plants and animals looked alive.

The farm looked more brilliant than what he’d seen it in such a long time.

“He’s here!” Melanie, Steven’s younger sister shouted from the foyer.

“At least there is someone here now, that Mom can really sink her teeth into!” Bob his oldest brother shouted, only loud enough so that his mother Emily wouldn’t hear.

“You two are terrible, we’ve been interrogated more that you have. So, I need to thank my little brother for arriving at last!” Veronica stopped by the door before either of them got to it.

They heard the Jeep pull up and then they waited in great anticipation…

“Maybe he decided to bring a woman along this time; there might be someone to help—” Melanie wanted to say; but then felt Emily grab a hold of her.

“Do you know something, that the rest of us don’t know about?” Emily asked.

“I just hoped that we might meet the last woman he was on a date with; you know like that eccentric artistic woman…the poet or something?” She blurted out as if covering for something.

They stood there, each with their own plan in mind. None of them were ever as good a mark for her barbs and criticism as Steven was. For one thing, nothing that any one doctor could have told him; would have helped him to have children.

None of them had their insecurities discussed, throughout the town’s region like he had. They desperately needed her off their backs and so, the best possible way to do that…Steven being there. Then the doorbell rang. Every one of them jumped, seeing that none of them had been paying attention as he walked up to the front door.

“Well, is anyone going to open the door?” Emily, as anxious as the rest, asked the other three siblings.

They all just stared at her.

“Isn’t it your house…?” Melanie asked, when the door bell rang again.

Then Andrew came out of his study and glared at the four in the foyer. “Open the damn door!” he shouted, looking really annoyed with them.

Emily opened the door at last and studied her youngest son.

Steven indeed looked different with the beard going, though it wasn’t a full beard. He stood there in a pair of brown slacks and a white shirt with a black jacket on. His hair had been growing for some time and he appeared to look healthier than any other time she’d seen him.

“Well, hello stranger!” Emily shouted and walked out, grabbing him for a hug with her eyes closed. Most likely, she was praying that he would sometime soon bring home a woman, so she could start to plan her youngest son’s wedding.

She stood back as every one of them in succession, came forward to greet him. They walked into the house; only then realizing he was still standing outside on the steps.

“What’s wrong Steven?” Emily asked, walking back toward the front door.

“Well, I really don’t know how I should say this—there’s something…” he faltered, “I know that you don’t—I know none of you would figure this one out and so…”  He didn’t seem to be making any kind of sense. He then smiled very broadly and stepped to the side.

There she stood, a little girl who hid in the shadow of her father. She looked shorter than him, but then considering the fact that she was only ten it was an acceptable height. She seemed well dressed and had pitch black hair, like he did. She also had his eyes and probably the beauty of her mother…

Everyone stood there, motionless, not one could say a word. They had no idea what was going on. They all gaped at the child.

“Hello, who might you be?” Andrew asked, coming out first, to see what was going on.

Steven moved back to her, taking her hand and walking toward the group. Knowing that his father would be the first to greet her. “She’s your granddaughter.”

“Yes, I can see the resemblance. So then, I’m your grandfather…and it’s mighty nice to meet you. But then, what name goes with this beautiful young woman I see you are?” he asked her, getting her to smile at the same time.

“My name is Samantha, Sam for short,” she answered, not seeming to be the least bit worried about any of them. Steven did tell her they’d be blown away by her and of how they were a little crazy too.

“Well then, you and your father come in and let’s get the two of you settled!” Andrew said, getting the wheels rolling.

As soon as they stepped through the door, the rest of the family moved forward to greet them. All the aunts and uncles and the rest of the siblings were friendly and excited. There seemed to be only one other in the room who even remotely looked to be her age, but then, the almost ten year old ended up being a boy.

While Andrew walked Sam into the big house, the rest got a hold of Steven.

“What the hell is going on? Aren’t you gay?” His mother asked him, seeing that Sam was well out of earshot.

“What do you mean… gay?” he asked, feeling stunned.

“Do you really think that I’ve been telling those women in town how my boy can’t have children and most of them came out with the gay thing all on their own,” she explained

“Yes…rather than telling them that I’m perfectly straight. No, you just had to change what was wrong with me to suit what you wanted. No wonder in the last eight years, none of those women ever called me back!” he exclaimed.

“You mean to tell me, you would have dated anyone of them? If so, just maybe I would have known about her a while ago?” Emily asked, looking flabbergasted.

The rest just stood there and listened to what was said, not really sure where this new spunk in Steven now came from.

“Have you ever stopped and listened to yourself? Have you got any idea what’s been going on around you?” he asked her, looking very calm and content.

“I really don’t know what you’re going on about? What has gotten into you?” she asked, while walking away.

The rest stared at her and then back at him, not one of them wanted to get into it there and then, but curiosity would always kill the cat eventually.

Steven walked out of the house to get the luggage and knew they would follow. With enough hands there, he roped them into helping to get the Jeep offloaded.

“How long have you known about her?” Melanie asked.

“To be honest with you, only a week,” he answered, once again, blowing them out of the water.

“Are you sure that she’s yours?” Veronica asked. “You know, women usually know who the father of their child is, but when they see a man good enough, they might claim almost anything!” She had to get it out.

“The DNA test confirms it, as well as the paperwork the Welfare had of her mother. On it, she wrote my name as the father…That’s enough for me,” he defended with little worry.

“So you’re—a father after all?” Bob asked, smiling.

“There once was a hole in my soul, well maybe it’s still there—but now, she’s here and it feels good,” Steven explained, smiling all the way back into the house.

 

~****~

 

IN THE study, Sam stood by the window, looking outside.

Andrew walked in. “You really don’t have to worry; I know my son. I can see that he’s really happy that you’re here.”

“I’m still getting use to the idea, but I do think that his mother was completely blown out of her comfort zone. I had the feeling that this holiday would be a strenuous one…” She told him.

“Don’t worry too much, before you get to the end of the holiday, you’ll see that she will have come around already.”

The two of them then stood quietly at the window.

Just then, her three aunts walked into the room and stared at the pair.

“Grandpa,” Alice spoke up happily, “We need to speak with her, could you give us some time?”

“You see what I told you?” He gave her a wink.

“Hello, how are you?” one of them asked.

“I’m good and how about you?”

“We’re very happy that you are here….” Melanie volunteered, as each of them moved closer to her, hugging her one by one.

This got the tears rolling and they sat down, having long hearty girl talk. When night drew closer, they came out of the room, brining the lunch-tray with them. Earlier, Steven had very carefully walked in there to serve them the midday meal.

 

~****~

 

THE DAY before Christmas, neither Emily nor Steven had spoken to each other, both of them wasn’t about to give up on their position and not about to say sorry for their beliefs either.

“Why are they so angry at each other?” Sam asked.

Everyone stared at her. It was highly possible all of them weren’t really sure if the family was ready for a person who spoke the absolute truth or asked honest questions.

“What did your father tell you about Grandma?” Melanie asked her. Although the rest of them probably didn’t want this conversation to even happen…none of them stopped it either.

“He told me every one of you made fun of him, because he couldn’t have children,” she repeated his words, her very presence disputing this fact. “That’s why I’m his resident miracle. The best doctors told him, there was a one in a million chance that he would ever become a father…Then, about how his mother would be shocked, mostly at how he wasn’t going to take any trouble from anyone unnecessarily, because he intends to protect me.” Her tone then became uncertain, “I think—it’s only now that she realizes he’s as strong willed as she is. Only thing is, I’m the one who instigated everything. That’s maybe the reason why she doesn’t want either of us here now.”

Without anyone knowing, Emily stood in the doorway with Steven just behind her.

Everyone saw this, feeling more than just a little bit wary of what was to come. They cleared the kitchen.

Sam blinked her eyes at their sudden, abrupt departure as if they’d seen a ghost or something. She turned around and saw the two of them in the doorway.

“I know that I don’t have a lot time left, so if you want to come for a wee bit of a chat with me—that is if you don’t mind?” Emily asked her, looking at Steven. She then turned and walked away.

“Are you mad at me?” Sam asked Steven.

“Honey, I can’t be mad at you when you want to understand what you see. But if you don’t go speak to her and listen, giving her a chance at least, that wouldn’t be nice. We’ll talk later, not to worry.”

For her, not ever knowing him before this, getting her first hug from her father here and now was the best medicine any doctor could have prescribed . She was in his arms within a flash and held on to him with all her might.

They stood there for some time…

“Now, go to Grandma and be nice, I know you don’t know her that well, but if you give her a chance you’ll see it could be worth your while,” he told her.

“Is it worthwhile for you?”

“Everything up until now was great, very much including you for a definite fact.” He grinned and let her go, finding that it would become one of the hardest things he would have ever to do on a daily basis.

Sam walked to the big lounge and saw Emily sitting by the fire. “May I come—?”

“Yes, please dear.”

Carefully and feeling unsure, Sam went into the big room, heading to the big chair and sat on it.

Luckily, she didn’t have to get the conversation going, as soon as she sat down, Emily started to speak, “You know Steven will be a good father to you, he’s not like me, only when he gets really upset does he show it, I realized just recently. But you must understand that no one here hates you, nor would we ever dream of it or to not have you here for any holiday. I just didn’t know what was happening when I saw you and him standing outside the house like that. I was immediately unsure of what was going on. You must have felt the same way when you first met him and you were probably dumbstruck by the event, like the rest of were at seeing you for the first time?”

“That’s true, I think the only person who was really happy about the news from step one was…Daddy,” she agreed, happy with the thought and the sound the word made over her lips.

“Tell me just how it was that you and Steven’s paths crossed in the end?”

“Didn’t my father tell you anything about me before this?”

“We didn’t really talk about you, he spoke to me about how I’m reacting toward the rest and how I should focus on my own life, leaving the rest to live theirs,” she answered, as if hoping that sharing this would help Sam to open up as well.

For some time, they both stared into the fire with nothing said.

“My mother was involved in a car accident. I was at school when the news came to me. The Headmaster had to give me the news, we didn’t know of anyone else who would be there for me…” Her voice faded away as she paused.

With this, Emily reached over and took a hold of Sam’s hand as they sat there in the lingering night.

Sam finally spoke again, “When the Welfare came to my other Grandparents…They didn’t want to have anything to do with me. Mom didn’t know if my dad ever wanted to have children, she was the first and last woman he ever brought here, I later found out from him. This is where their plans died as well. Not even he knows that she wanted to marry him; but now it’s all in the past…”

Another long silence stretched out in the room.

“…Finally, they tracked him down. I guess because he was only now and then, in the city. He was there on business when they found him. He told them that it would be great, but there was one big problem…so they got the both of us to have that DNA test and when it was a match, only then did they let us meet. They didn’t want to give either one of us any false hope…” Her voice trailed off again.

“From what I hear, you and I have something in common. I had the same situation only by then I was in college. Unfortunately for me, my father was in jail and that was why I never knew him. But now, you’re with us and everything will be better.” Emily nodded her head and sat there in silence, having only herself to deal with as she realized her obsessive personality was the reason for a great many problems in her own life. Before she could think too much, Sam had gotten up and got on the chair with her.

Sitting in this fashion, it took some time until Sam fell asleep.

Steven came in a little later to get her and carried her to bed.

The next few days were better and the family had a great time. Like any other family, they had some issues to work out. Luckily, there was time.

This time around…Everyone eagerly waited for Christmas day.

 

~****~

 

“YOU BETTER call us as soon as you two get back in the City; I’m going to worry myself sick until I get that call,” Emily whined. “Oh, before I forget, here is something for the road.” She handed them lunch and smiled very happily at Sam.

“Thank you Grandma, bye Grandpa…bye-bye!” Sam shouted, not giving Steven a chance to get something in.

“I gather you enjoyed it?” He just had to ask.

“It…was okay…” she taunted him.

He looked over at her.

Sam burst out laughing.

“I can’t believe it, just like your mother—” he halted.

“Please, what about her? I got you good, so don’t worry. If you need help, just call anyone of them.”

“She used to tease me in that same way,” he said, the strength in his voice dissipating, “You remind me so much of her—it’s good,” he said, waving at the family while he drove away.

Later down the road…

“You told me there was something that you wanted to show me, depending how good or bad it went back there,” Sam reminded him.

“You’re right. Just give me another hour or so, and then I’ll tell you everything,” he teased.

“You can’t make me wait for so long, come on D…A…D what is it?” she nagged him in the same funny whiny way as her late mother did.

“You really want to know?” he asked her.

“You bet!”

He got off the road and drove into the parking lot of the motel they visited before they headed along the last stretch home.

She jumped out of the Jeep and saw that he stared intently at the Inn. “I don’t suppose this is where you and she, conceived—me?”

“No, but then we did stay here a few times. Not one of those times did we ever get to the farm though,” he noted, laughing now.

“You two should have gotten together!” she cried and fell on her knees to the ground.

Steven felt stunned as he jumped out immediately and knelt in front of her. “She gave me everything that I ever could want. I’ll still be able to love her, because you are here with me now. I can also love you as well. Now, let’s get a little closer,” he urged and pulled her up.

With drying tears, she walked along with him, not in the least bit sure what’s she was in for. Then she noticed the sign…Sam’s Rest Inn.

“She wanted to own this place, so the day I heard that the couple wanted to sell, I came down and bought the motel, then converted it into an inn. The only question is,” he paused and looked at her.

“Yes, I know. You want to come back here! Yes off course, I would love to live in an inn!” she shouted at him and jumped into the strong arms of her dad.

They stood outside with her shouting and him spinning around in a full circle, swinging her with him—They’d been so loud that the elderly couple managing the place came out to see what the commotion was.

At the sight of the two, they also stood hand in hand, smiling at father and daughter

.OUR Son

Sparkle…

Flash_of_Happiness

That Sparkle…

At my RIPE old age of 39, I tend NOT to think, landing a Date would be as Easy as many a Person around me might find it for them.
YES,
Not Married,
No Children and
Currently single as You’d suspect.

I’m NOT on the prowl to find that Woman/Younger Lady – but then I’d not forever either want to be on my own either…

Thus, the other day I walked into one of the SHOPS to buy a few DVD’s.
When you LEAST expect it, You meet someone that make you Believe or Hope things will turn around in Short Due Time.

Chatting with the Young Lady, I found that there’s a Great many movies and Ideas, Thoughts and Interests which we Share.
From the very Moment I didn’t believe she’d be Single, but the Chat was nice.

Going on and talking about a few Movies and Books which been Turned into Film,
As well what kind of Music was Nice for her To listen to was really nice.

She had this KIND of Goth vibe.
It wasn’t REALLY to have the Look, but then She did Catch my Eye!

Now the Ironic Situation,
She looked a LITTLE Young and I was FAR too afraid of
BREAKING the LAW
If she was… being a Saturday, a 16 Year Old can work…

Buying a DVD for much Less than I suspected,
It wasn’t in the LEAST what I’d expected from the Cover and what I read on the Rear…
Still I struggled through the Movie.

Going around there the next week, seeing if she worked and Found when I’d chat with her.
NOW Then, I wasn’t in the least Interested;
As My Instincts weren’t FAR Off…
HENCE the next day,
A normal working Day I saw her.

Telling her about the Movie and that it was Somewhat of a Struggle to Finish.
I Immediately picked up that she didn’t react the Same;
Happy,
Energetically,
Talkative,
Friendly,
Cool chick I’d met the days before.

When I’d met her the FIRST time, I found that she Stood really Close to me and Each time she had something to do,
Made her way Back to me fast…
Shockingly so – But then I do know that at WORK you’ll have to make sure the Clients are taken care of…
So I was under NO misconception, it was her Work.

THIS Time the Cold Shoulder was Extremely Evident.
Not that this Worried me so much,
THAT feeling when you See the Possibility within the Sparkle was really Nice to ENJOY,
Even though it was only But a few Moments…

I found that she’s the Youngest and that she’s 22,
WHICH, at my Age and what I Know and would Like in a Woman;
She may not be…
But then, Just once more Seeing the Possibility &
Knowing that when the Time is there;
Anything is Possible!

THAT SAID,
Helping out on the OTHER floor, at MY work later,
Yet again,
A Young Lady walked onto the Floor,
Looking for a Car and I helped her out as Much as I could.
Here and there I saw that she Felt a Little Self-Conscious about Her Upper-Lip.
Not happy with the Mole-like growth there or something,
Again we Chatted and I suspect she didn’t Expect me to help her out,
Not that ANYTHING materialized there,
But I found out She’s a Nurse,
So, At least she’s Older than what I thought,
Also Nice on the Eye;
But then – as with the One other Younger Lady, not so LONG time ago,
Where we work,
It Ain’t such a BEST place to Pick-Up the Possibility for a Date…

Yet,
IF ever you cannot See the Chances,
Possibilities or
Sparkling Moments of LIFE,
Then You’d NEVER react to them!

So,
It was really Cool seeing these two Different Women Crossing my Way.
It’s not to say The Later Younger Woman would again fall into the Picture;
AND
I cannot see that the Nurse would be Single either.

The 22 Year Old,
Saw her later in the week with her Boyfriend,
Happy in the Thought that I didn’t react STUPID and
Made her Feel Uncomfortable…
SEEING it myself as well;

I cannot Imagine myself how Most Single Women might feel
OR
Even see the Men around them.
How hard would it be,
When you’re Separated & See if you can get a Date with a Man when there’s Children from a Previous Relationship
OR
Even a Marriage.
To say the least, what of Just having had a Relationship…

I can Imagine myself that More Women than Men are Fearful of Getting Hurt,
But then,
There’s an Unspoken Truth which I suspect Few KNOW;
Man
OR
Woman,
None of Us are Immune to Pain – No matter what Kind it is.
Everyone have Uncertainties in getting to Know an Next Significant Other…

We ALL should be Really Careful of THOSE hidden Messages which we Send with our Body-Language; they MIGHT drop You in Hot water…

That
Sparkling
Game of Love
& Affection,
Especially
WHEN you Take the Chance at Playing it… :- )